Mojo where are you

I've lost my mojo. Some of it is undoubtedly the down swing of adrenaline after being on the go so much. I look at my computer and feel no smashing urge to blog. Even my thoughts right now are on the back burner of existence. I had no idea how the heat would affect me with the Midodrine. Being artificially constricted all day in the fire of July in Arkansas has pulled me under like a bug caught in syrup. It wouldn't be so bad except there is no way to escape it except stay inside. I am not good about that. With the cold in the winter, I found that I could bundle up and warm up as I walked. This is so different. How do you get cooler. Walk naked is a possibility.

Have worked on the planning for the trip to Mayo Clinic today. Fly or drive. The price will be about the same. I don't know that I am up to another set of flights. So we have mapped out a trip from Memphis-Birmingham-Columbus-Jacksonville-This will also mean that we have our vehicle with us down there. This is important as the amount of time we will be there depends upon the initial neurology workups. I just can't wait to get back into MRI and CAT scan machines. don't move, breathe deeply, don't panic. I hate the EEG and such because it it so time consuming to have electrodes placed concisely all over my head. Then the joy of getting the gel out of the stringy mess that results is an hour long ordeal in the shower. All of this time, I will be hooked up all over my body with heart monitors.

looking into getting my laptop set up for wireless internet-have to have an outlet for expression. I wish that I had a blackberry or iphone.

later

Another Day

Eddy hates having his picture made and won't make one ounce of effort to lean in close or get a "perfect" pose. So....he ends up looking very relaxed and totally goofy. I think we used to make more elegant shots together. At least we used to make younger shots....

helped Tara get her room ready for school to start today. dusted and polished, unpacked and stuffed huge notebooks with all kinds of organizational togetherness.

I'm still calling the room next door, "my room" -today helped as it severed and cauterized another link to the past. it also started to write another chapter in a friendship.

very mundane thought-we have not had rain here in our part of the county in over 2 weeks. must move into a holding pattern on keeping some garden occupants alive and kicking.

dad forwarded emails from mom in Israel today- they landed in Tel Aviv safely and she is getting the hang of sending notices via someone's computer, perhaps even at an internet cafe- she saw Roman ruins yesterday , the Sea of Galilee, aquaducts, something built by Herod,

to bed, I'm a dead duck!

Get It While It's HOT

At what point does blogging become rude and disrespectful--One of my favorites to read, Dennis Mangan, is going to take a break. Why a favorite-because you never knew what he was going to cover and ranged from politically incorrect to your health. I am constantly amazed what faceless people will say to someone in print or at least hypothetical print. If you don't agree, then don't read anymore, but stop the kicking at some other person's thought process. Which makes me ponder the whole process of blogging, commenting, and the people that you "meet" on the web.
The people who blog are the ones that you want to sit next to on a train. They have ideas, they feel opinionated-
back to politically incorrect-this affects me as I can't say some things that I think or feel sometimes due to the nature of the beast of small towns and jobs and such. I feel that it would be selfish of me to have my feelings on some subjects lap over to my loved ones and their lives.
just some thoughts on this brilliantly blue day in the Arkansas heather

Just Thinking

this scene is in Brooklyn with Manhatten across the river there. I took this shot from the car that came to get us to take Jake and I to Penn Station... I had wanted the chance to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but this was vetoed on this trip.

Rested today. can honestly say that I did no work of the desperate type. just puttered. spent all morning doing my walking and yoga. I do this outside so needs are met to get it done before the heat blanket was draped around my fat ass.

My flower beds have gotten away from reasonable. need to mow some down and start again because of the bermuda grass over taking the space

Have watched Obama being replayed today. I thought his speech in Germany was of major importance and inspirational. to get a better feel for the world , watch the bbc or other worldly sources of news - our homecooking in the news dept frequently biases everyworld they write for the news anchors.

Have talked to my dad now for 4 nights in a row as my mom has gone on a 10 day trip to Israel with a church group from Melbourne. dad didn't want to make this trip, so I'm trying to check on him each night without him thinking that I am just calling to see if he crawled in the house.

had some great conversation with him last night about the reservation that NeeNee Scott taught on in New Mexico. Cindy brought the subject up as she would like to see if anyone is left there at the agency school who would remember our grandmother.

NeeNee Scott would have taken a looooong train ride out from Indiana in 1926 , maybe, by herself to work on the Navajo reservation. Cindy and I want to piece together as much of her young history as possible as she was the consumate pioneer girl. She told us once that she wanted to see Pike's Peak , she borrowed a car and drove up there, then there were no turnarounds, so she had to back down that road in the dark.

we know that the name of the school was Crown Point-the reservation was in New Mexico, the Indian agency was in Arizona, They mined coal right there on the reservation but they were still restricted on how much they could use the lights. So from 6:00 on my grandmother Madeline, and her roommate, Freda, we think , would set out 10 or 15 candles all around the room and stay up until 10. A pueblo Indian made them the candlesticks.

I still have the picture of NeeNee Scott's teacher's aide standing beside a traditional straw hogan. She is in full native dress. this is a project we will still continue to work on.

am reading "The Dogman of Topanga" -a good book that I am going to recommend to my sister and friends. the author, Bret Burquest, lives here right around Salem and does contributing work for the Salem newspaper. So check it out if you get a chance. I bought mine from amazon used books.--It is a mystery of sorts with mine and Jamie's favorite type of anti-heroine in some anguish in her life kind of book

Not a great picture, but I was tired and leaning heavily against the door of Independence Hall. -have been overdoing it a bit and must go to the doctor today.

some heart rhythms going on that are new for even me! if you missed the View today, you missed great updates on all of the areas of the female body that can be tightened and refurbished. areas that I am not even for sure that are still existing in my 48 year old body.

will blog more this evening as must go now and put on my go-to-doctor face.

Monday -detoxing from fun and excitement

I loved this shot -symetrical and mysterious, cause just think how high up this crane is as these are skyscapers.

today has been a day to unpack and reality of aloneness again. I found myself talking on the phone all day. catching up with my peeps.

having to do an emergency gathering of cucumbers as Eddy did not function in a hunting and gathering mode while I was gone, just waterer. So I have some cucumbers that are the size of watermelons. Would need a massive pickle jar if I did that domestic chore which I don't.

Going with Jamie tomorrow to Mountain Home to meet her friend from Alpena. We'll also meet Tara and head to El Chico's for lunch...maybe some shopping afterward.-have to borrow money from Eddy, am working on my presentation now for funds. I think that I 'll go with the angle that Jamie needs me! He will not be fooled.

very different twists on the environment at Malcolm's site and on twisted physics-yes or no to lawnmowers and tractors

am reading new books that I gathered at Barnes and Noble with Codi in Bentonville-new Evanovich and Piccoult...I ordered Kevin Kim's book and started it today. Also one on philosophy. -and new Vogue and Vanity Fair-am starving for some chips and dip...can a getting skinnier grandmother-to-be have cravings along with Poppy's momma. I think so

Over and Out -A Break

I will not be here for a while as the big trip is starting this afternoon. Unless I can figure out a place to go to use a computer, then I won't be in the loop. I'll be back to my computer on July 21. See ya
Bentonville
Dallas
Philly
Manhatten
Brooklyn
Manhatten
Philly
New Town
Philly
Chicago
Bentonville

will be journaling every hour in the old-fashioned method-leather-bound journal and pen

Actually a shot of the mule from a morning perspective but I am too tired and joggled to take one tonight. And anyway, it's the same machine, regardless. This evening, I was walking and Eddy drove up and asked if I wanted to ride along. Usually, I am more hesitant but the rainy weather has me off my stride. So I agreed. We were going around the back way, by gravel road , to check the salt block in the very back field. To the uninitiated, that means that there is a solid block of minerals placed with cows in an old tire rim. Then the sisters can grab a lick whenever they feel the need. The joggled part of my day comes as the realization washes over me that we are coming home through the field and not by the road. So I only have an old swimsuit top on under a t-shirt. NOT intended to support the udders of an aging grandma-to-be through an expedition through the outback. I know this is an ugly picture and any male readers may be scarred for life, you might want to click away now!

As we take off down the hill, I have one arm holding on and one arm holding them.

My phone rings and Eddy yells out over the roar of the mule, "answer your phone". I was not letting go. Thank God is wasn't one of my fellow FBI agents or anything. Just a sister, real human one, not a cow. She had to leave a message.

The Way to a Man's Heart

Did you know that a man can be brought to his knee's with fried food? I mean in ecstasy, not subjugation, well, if that is not the word, then slavery. I have found the perfect boxed stuff to bread squash and green beans in before you fry-called Kountry Kernal or something along those lines, with a fake Colonel Sanders on the label. The mixture of spices in it is so close to Kentucky Fried that I'll probably have to hire Sach for taste infringement protection.
Eddy was like putty in my hands when he tasted it-He is soooooo easy.

Today was so holy hot momma muggy that the leaves didn't even lift their weary heads to fight the humidity. It has rained for 2 days in a row-surely a sign that something extra or over the top terrestial has hovered over us in Arkansas as July is not a wet month. NOT....Between Bret's blog on the possibilities of space, he has some big numbers on this post, and Malcolm's and another friend's contribution on waka on the possibilities of atmospheric disturbances caused by meteorites, I've been looking at the sky a lot. It just hangs up there blocking out harm but lulling us into thinking that this is all there is to each day. Oh, the possibilities.

Julia and I have worked our buttocks off today on cleaning and scrubbing the premises-an unnatural state of being that I have to leave everything spotless when I go somewhere-my sons call it an obsession-I truly think that it is just good sense on my part as I can say when I get home-"Eddy, this place is a mess"

am reading a book about a small town in Ireland and how everyone's lives are mixed and mingled-

later-one more thought-this picture makes me think of my Joe Cocker's greatest hits CD-"Unchain My Heart"-I can't find it anywhere, may have to put that on my Christmas list as a replacement of old favorite, and for that matter, if my kids read this, I can't find my Bob Segar's greatest hits, either.

and more later-my tickets came today for my big Amtrak adventure. that's me, "the little engine that could or would if she could"

Fun in the Sun

Life is good. Jennifer and the girls picked me up today at noon and we hotfooted it to the "beach" at Crown Lake in Horseshoe Bend. They have hauled in truckloads of sand and a beach is a beach and it's the same sun as Florida or Hawaii-interesting concept there, that if you put on beachy waves music and pour sand over your quilt then your backyard is as good. Well, no shells or empty beer bottles, but what the heck.

Have worked to get my gardens and flower pots into a position that they can manage with Eddy, the yard man, saying that he watered the plants while I am in the Big Apple, but peeing on them in July is not adequate. So I depend on him not to stretch the story and actually turn the hose on to a tepid flow and forget the kilowatts.

Walked by myself today for the first time-the big walk that is-down the hill , around the curve, and down, down, and back- had the phone and water bottle.

wasn't too bad but was still sweating like a pig at 7 in the morning. Big Ed has issued orders that I am to stay home until Thursday when he takes me to Bentonville for the trip.

Jake booked my train ride on Amtrak from Philly to Penn Station in New York because I know where I am there, sorta. I've never been across the Brooklyn Bridge so can't wait for that taxi ride. There I'll be taking pictures like crazy and Jake insisting that I not appear to be a tourist. My long-suffering child has already survived my awe at the sidewalks outside of La Guardia having sparkles in them. Major sparkles! When I exclaimed my astonishment outloud, he just put his head down and marched ahead, nearly leaving me behind.

very tired now and sunburned, to bed, perchance to dream......

one last thought, before friends and fellow countrymen ask why I am in no pics from today, I put to you that I am not into self-induced pain!

Celebrate July 5th

the day after the 4th and you get the 5th. yesterday was fun as family came for a cookout and we watched the Salem fireworks from the front yard. Dad estimated that it is only about 2 miles to the Salem Park as the crow flies and I would never argue with a surveyor.

our house is so high up and it is so clear that it makes a very nice grandstand for explosions. I am way too frugal or tight to spend money on fireworks and besides they have always scared me a little. It was pointed out by my sire that it is essentially the same stuff that you would get in artillery rounds and there we go into my thoughts on guns and ammo.....better left to professionals. I wonder what pros were setting them off in the city park. They did a fine damn job of it no matter what their names.

have been surfing and breezing through Gypsy's blogs on nothingness. Well, maybe breezing is the wrong weather term here as sometimes I have to slog through Jeff's links. He gets into high definition with some ideas and thoughts and I just hold on for the ride. I try to go to all of the linked articles as he is the professor and I a humble student. What better way to get a free education than to have the college level guy posting on thought-provoking stuff and tuition only the cost of one's time. What I love about his blog is that I can hear him saying this stuff in my head. Being able to hear the writer's voice, both real and projected, is a plus for myself. The same goes for email. Once you hear the person speak in real life, then the written word takes on a whole new dimension. And one more thing I REALLY like about Jeff's blog--he always answers you regardless of how feckless and ordinary my comments.

have planted 4 roses today. Mom ordered them for normal planting time and they were back-ordered forever. If I can get them to bloom then you know some freak of nature happened and Eddy watered them while I am gone for 8 days in July!
they were Blaze of Glory climbing roses just for the record.
going to someone else's cookout tonight, a friend of Eddy's . I hope there is someone there that I know besides Eddy--I've already squeezed his conversational lemon to the max. If there's not, well it will be good time to employ chat and charm.
later
one more thought--the pic above is not today. was taken on Wed. morning as Justin loaded up a set of cull cows for the trip to West Plains. cull usually means slaughter, yuck!

To Market, To Market, to buy a fat....

We went to the sale barn yesterday in West Plains to sell calves-straight from momma to the smashed up confines of the trailer, then into the nothingness of 1000's of cattle bawling to who knows where. I learned long ago, don't get attached to anything cute around here cause it's going to market.

sometimes you get a name on this farm if you make big trouble on fences or corral-the names are not usually very nice. "mean sister", "big sister", "red sister", "black sister", and on and on,

We delivered the cattle, then went back to Hirsch's feed store, hope I spelled that right, to exchange brush hog blades. I wandered the store in wonder as I don't frequent the farm supply stores too often. Did you know that there was a wrench that you can buy for 94.95! a wrench big enough to hold your car up indefinitely if you balance it just right. What amazed me is that somewhere there is a bolt or screw or something as big as your head. Other items of interest included a tent with locks on it. Now it seems to me that a lock is overdoing it when someone could just take a pocket knife and slit it in a breath's time..besides what are you going to keep in a tent that is worth stealing? On further down the aisle were girl's cowboy boots in pink sparkles and camo design. Not my cup of tea but , oh well. (I guess those would be cowgirl boots)

They couldn't deliver on the right blades so we exchanged them for bags of 50/50 - feed, must be half something and half something. don't even ask. it's sure to be info that Eddy as told me a hundred times but if you are not interested in it, then it goes out the door. I am sure I get the same glazed look at the feed store as Eddy gets when I drag him to museums or go on and on about the history channel. So off we went to a John Deere place. Everything was green. If you don't know then just believe me when I tell you that John Deere as it's own paint color. What would be mine.

I think at that point, I was wondering what would the rest of the day hold as I had read most of my southern living magazine by that point.

Back to the sale barn for a patient watch of 100's of the same cattle going back and forth across the ring. It was kinda neat as the ring masters get them going in a flesh and blood whirlpool that bleeds out through the "get out" gate when opened. groups of 30 or more, I mean. When it was a solitary calf, I felt sorry for it as sometimes they ran into the railing in confusion. We were there for several hours and I squirmed and squirmed. It's good practice for the airplane, though. Which will be next week. We fly out on the llth and return on the 16th.

Jake will make arrangements for me to get on a train in Philly and head to NYC and Brooklyn on Sat. the 12th. I've never done that by myself so here's hoping that I don't end up in Atlantic City or go north to Alaska by mistake.

It's so hot outside now this afternoon and hazy. Of course, this leads to longer posts and some really interesting surfs of the Internet.

later