Monday, May 19, 2008

I can't breathe right and it scares me to death. Death being a companion of someone who's heart does not seem to know the meaning of steady thump, thump, thump. It's happened before but last night was the worst. It starts with a muscle cramp in my chest. I don't have any other way to describe it . The same cramp that your leg gets. Then I can't swallow, and I'm left there holding the bag. Hanging in between panic and a stay clear headed chant.
It happened again today, the wind started to blow badly and I was trying to gather my little projects together. It blew my seedling pots all over the yard as I had them sitting on the rail soaking , ready to get a new batch of seeds. As I was hurrying to get them, the cramp happened. I can't use my arm very well or catch my breath. I have hoses hooked up everywhere, the mule is out. the lid off the paint. Eddy will be furious that there is a hose strung across the yard. Now the pots are all over the kitchen. Another fury. One of his cows was out and I have coaxed and chased her everywhere. I don't think that I have her in the right field. The fence barely reached over to the barn as it's missing pieces from the storm. Well , one more thing to incur wrath.
The wind might as well be hurricane strength. It's too strong to be out in it if your fighting gravity and heated air.

4 comments:

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Your blog won't stay private long, for its link appears on your Blogger Profile.

I empathize with your breathing difficulties, for I sometimes labor at catching breath myself when my asthmas acts up at Seoul's bad air . . . but my problem is nothing like yours though I have to quell my incipient panic that I might choke.

At times, I feel that my soul is imprisoned in my body, and I think, "It's not supposed to be like this!"

By the way, if I might offer a word of . . . well, advice, I'd softly suggest that avoiding certain issues is probably better since your blog is not really private and your family will surely discover what you write.

But you know best...

Jeffery Hodges

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jeanie oliver said...

Thanks,sir,
I appreciate the comments and advice.
J

Anonymous said...

HI THERE JEANIE SORRY TO HERE THAT YOU HAVE BREATHING PROBLENS JUST LIKE ME I HAD A HEART ATTACK AT 45 AND AND HEART BYPASS TO KEEP ME GOING AND THEN I FOUND GARDENING WHAT A RELEAF HOPE YOU GO ON TO MY BLOG SOME TIME JUST TO HAVE A LOOK AT IT. MY SCARE CROW IS HOMER I THINK YOU HAVE SEE HIM ON ALI,S BLOG ?WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOMER ?WELL I HOPE YOU ARE OK OVER THE POND AND I HOPE THE WEATHER IS GOING TO PICK UP FOR YOU SEE YOU RAY

jeanie oliver said...

Ray,
so glad to have you visit--most of my gardening things are on my other blog
www.jeanieoliver.blogspot.com
but feel free to come back to this one to hear me complain!!
I have POTS Syndrome and do not have proper blood flow to my major organs. Gardening has helped so much to get over giving up teaching.
I went to your blog and will add you to my gardening daily checks.
thanks for visiting
Jeanie Oliver