Sunday, January 4, 2009

Why I like him


Marriage is not easy. It's not that simple to exist with someone who has just as strong a will as me. I have stored up the good memories and I figure if I ever wrote a book on how to stay married, it would be titled "Remember and Forget" . Many, many times, I have have been so angry, frustrated, bewildered, or just ambivalent about my spouse. But more often, I have liked him. Is it "love" that keeps people existing in the same house. I don't know that you really ever have to say, "I love You". I think if you find that you just tolerate this other person's idiosyncrasies that you are a long way toward the golden anniversary.
What do I like about Eddy Oliver? He can be brought to his knees by a child. The most impatient man with the outer world, he slowly bends to hear the breath of a child. If you want to ride around the yard 101 times on the mule and you are less than an adult, he is there for you. Even though, he knows the cat can't be coaxed from the top of the hay bales, he'll hold you up there until you are hoarse with, "kitty, kitty, kitty".
Remember my book title? I remember how estatic he was all 3 times that I was pregnant. My memory of his patience with me through 2 labors and the smashing disbelief of the loss of a baby at 5 months, sneak up on me at the oddest times. You can, of course, be sure that these passages of our past are replaying now that we are so freshly blessed with grandbaby. It seems like yesterday that I was crushing his hand as contractions hit me like the waves of high seas. He told me over and over, "you will forget this pain as soon as we see the baby"
I forget the bad times. I feel that I have a remarkable talent to just forget and get on with stuff like life. I forget the times that we were sure that maybe a separation was best for all of us.
Well, editing this photo made me think for just a moment.....I do remember that I, like the baby in this photo, have been able to just grab Eddy Oliver and hold on. He has never let go of my life and I'll never forget that.

2 comments:

Connie said...

Jeanie,
This so beautiful, what a way with words and all s true when it comes to living with a spouse. What a trubute to you husband, I wish you many more years of that same sharing and growing. I find that we all grow as the years pass, things change and you have different feeling but that is life and I personally think that too many people give up and don't give time a chance. You and Eddy have so much to be proud of and now you have a beautiful granddaughter to spoil. Enjoy!

jeanie oliver said...

Hey girl,
thanks for the kind words-do you have your swimsuit all packed for florida!
Jeanie