Pure Fiction

If you were a former teacher, how would you make your life more exciting? What could you write about that would hold the reader until you deemed it time to look away?
It could be that you explained the inexplicable works of nature that seem to effect someone you know. That someone is me. Take today for instance. As I was out walking in the pasture on a curly cool morning, I made the executive decision to remove my shirt and just walk in my sports bra. Don't croak. My sport's bra covers as much as as sleeveless t-shirt-sport's bras for 48 year old boobs are designed like bullet proof vests. Nothing is getting in or out or through. I just don't want to be seen by many of the general public as I could be mobbed in the Madonna look-alike contest.
Trotting up the hill, I heard a growl behind me and turned to Rebel who should have been at my feet. He was hedged and hackled up into a copy of a stuffed museum piece, practicing menace when below our spot on the hill emerged a bear.
I've been dying to capture this bear. I don't mean put him in a box for show and tell. Just capture him on film so respect would rise up in the local yokels when I darkened the door. The bear was about 4 feet long and light brown. Not Arkansas black. Whirling around and beating it back to the house to get the camera that ususally hangs from my butt, I rushed back to the side of the hill where Rebel was still in stiff-legged lookout. The bear has slunk down back behind the bush and from my distance, I couldn't get a clear picture. I was going in. Grabbing a baseball bat, and yelling and swinging , I flew down the slope. Rebel was charging. He hit the bear in the back of the head, and they both started a growling roll down the hill. I was trying to squeeze of shots that would give me some proof when I slid down the hill toward the creek. Getting back up and squeezing marble-sized rocks from my belly roll fat deposits, I could not see either animal. I did see ,however, a Pepe Lepew grandfather skunk just 3 feet away. Now what the shit was I to do. If I moved I would be sprayed and end up like the rotten side of a dumpster. If I didn't move ,then Rebel was going to have my moment of infamy rushed into the next county. I took the better side of valor, and ran like hell up the hill away from the skunk. My bear is still out there, but so is his front man, Pepe. Another day, compadres!