Life Under a Mushroom Cloud!

Life under a mushroom cloud is sometimes nuclear. I can only hope that the fallout of trying to balance family and friends, wait, I'm only balancing family right now, will not be too deadly. We are having the whole Oliver clan-14 people-for dinner on Sat. night. Then Sunday, the whole Scott clan for lunch and family pictures-17 people-
Jake flew in last night to Memphis and his friend will transport him here on her way to Mountain Home to see her family for Labor Day. Sach and Codi are leaving Bentonville after they get off work today. They will stop in Harrison and pick up Tanner.
It was so easy when everyone had small kids. Popsicles and movie rentals, bikes and horses. Now so many of the family is grown up and now you have differing life views, differing political views, differing incomes, etc.
Everyone is anxious to see Jake. He made a vow last Labor Day-2007-that he would not be home until he had lost 100 pounds. He has now lost 120 pounds sticking strictly to the Weight Watchers plan. So it's been 1 year since most of the family has seen him. I'll be able to post pics of him now, I guess. He made me promise not to until he met his goal weight.
Are you watching the projected path of Hurricane Gustav? I think we will be driving in rain when we leave on Tuesday for Florida.
So back to the topic of family. Is anyone out there sympathetic to the dilemma of trying to survive in the quaqmire of "I used to know a lot about this person" When you think about it, our perceptions of siblings and parents are frozen right at the time that you stop living together. Then you start to have experiences and shit happens that you don't see on a daily basis. When you only see someone for a total of maybe 20 hours a year, that is not "knowing" that individual. You can have a better sense of what email and blog friends are doing than you can of family. As a matter of fact, most of us are "closer" factually, and thought wise, to co-workers and those we communicate with in detail than we may be to those we share blood with.
Facebook-another thought-I love this aspect of it takes a village. Those who participate can see pics and read thoughts and stop by conversations of friends and acquaintances from all over the globe. I have had hour long chats with former students who now check in with me daily. You can take a hint from status updates that something is off in someone's life, and check up on them right away. Facebook develops community, and projects daily life onto the big screen of the web. I am horrible about sending or participating in any of the games, but I write and tell my peeps this-they know this and still send funnies my way!
Well, I just really stopped by here to make a post and ended up running away with it..
later

J for Jeanie

J for jumped in today and did too much with bleaching the front porch but don't you love that feeling when something has been really dirty and is now spotless

J for jazzed about this weekend with everybody here-have new recipes for all kinds of sweets and pasta dishes-let's here it for big celebrations.

J for just missed Jeopardy while chatting with Carson and Kat on Facebook. Oh, well.

Okay enough of that-what did you think of Michelle Obama's speech-there were moments when it got too "I'm just middle class trash like the rest of you" I don't really care about hearing about someone's roots. Just convince me you will pull us out of this domestic and foreign mire that we are sunk into. One more note-Eddy would have a fit if I went on and on about him. Not that he doesn't have many glowing attributes, he just doesn't think that one gives speeches about them. I really agree with one of my friends that the future of the Democratic party rests with whether Hillary and Bill convince the nation that they would scrub floors in the White House because they support Obama that much. Can Hills swallow her pride? Can she come through with "we were both equally good, now I through my substantial hips in with his bunch?" I think she can come closer than Bill. His ego is a tad harder to mold to fit someone else's glory. We shall see....

later

special gift

a box arrived for me in the mail at the end of last week. Is there a soul in the world who doesn't love something personal in the mailbox? As I carried it down the lane to the house, I couldn't imagine what was inside. A gift from a friend. Not something that I had ordered. Something magical and mysterious, hidden in the layers of clear packing tape. There have been times when I thought there's no reason to get the mail, bills and bills, doctors' and hospital bills. I saved it all afternoon. I love a wrapped present as much as I do the gift inside. Anticipation.

Carefully using a steak knife to get past the "for your eyes only" tape, the tissue unfolded to reveal a lovely handwritten note, in handwriting so nice that someone should get this lady to demonstrate for third graders. There were two journals of different sizes, quilted in green. Green-my color-on top of that it is a green that resembles the scales of my dragon that has gone to dragon heaven. A dragon no more.

Connie Shrable had carefully prepared these quilted green covers for the journals with places for the pen and pencil. The pens and pencils were there already. She sent these for me to take on my journey to Florida. Journals-someone thoughtful enough to send a lady with 4 blogs something she treasures so much-journals.

thank you, Connie-they will be well used.

Barney would be packing heat-I am packing cell phone. At first, I resisted wearing it all the time as it felt too much like one of those nursing home "I have fallen and can't giddiup" monitors. Gradually over the summer, though, the phone has, like my computer, become a perfect companion. It only talks back if I want it too, I can ignore it without its hurt feelings splitting open the relationship. It plays music, and only music that I feel like hearing. And, of course, it provides that comfort of "I'll get help right away". So Cellie and I have been slowly taking more and more adventurous steps. For the last 2 days we have made the old walk a mile away from the house and back, by ourselves. Well, of course, accompanied by Rebel. However, I'm not sure that Rebel wouldn't behave like Eddy and say, "well, if you're down right now, you're not going anywhere, so I'll just be off to check on wild animals and you give a holler when you are standing again"

I can even walk and text which I consider quite an achievement as Tara, Jennifer, and Laura will know after trying to teach me dance steps. I think, in dancing, that I was concentrating too much on the feet because when I start texting my feet just do the right thing. It's a good thing as I'm wearing bi-focal cheater glasses and can't see the road anyway while texting.

One Tenth of A Milestone

Going from my garden, down the driveway to the mailbox, turn around, go back down the other side of the yard, hug the fence and corral, past the feed barn, to the back fence, over to the hay barn and back to the garden is 3/10 of a mile. So yesterday I did 12/10 in the morning, 3/10 at lunch, and 6/10 in the evening. Whoo-hooh. The problem is that it is soooooo boring. So I carry on imaginary conversations in my head. Talking out loud is dangerous as it won't be long until I'm forgetting and talking back to my head when other people are around!

Eddy promised that he would start walking with me again in the evenings but now we have had all this rain, and, oops, promises to wife go to back burner when a man could brush hog a lot sooner in the fall than he thought. So he gets home at 3:40, still on summer hours, and immediately follows the siren song of the tractor. Oh, and he also, in a moment of weakness, said that he would help me get the bermuda grass out of my flower beds.

big oops-the following post was put on the wrong blog-I'll see about getting it on O'z Ark!

Just Another Day

Hummingbird Clearwing Moth-The thorax is usually oliver green. Day flier seen hovering at flowers; often mistaken for bees and hummingbirds. Fields and gardens are the usual habitat.
The beauty of everyday around here on the front porch. We are just about to open our eyes. We will have to put more boards around the edges of the box as getting out was a common occurence yesterday, and we don't have more than our puppy bellies for use yet.
The zinnias, morning glory and resurging rose population have proved inviting once again to the birds and the bees.

Razors

Fighting with your loved ones about razors is silly. It takes 2 to effectively shave legs that have gone foresty on you. One for each leg. How unfair to shave one whole leg with the razor and then expect the other leg to get just as close a smoothing. If I just use one, then, the second leg is going to grow out on you fast. You could just always alternate but then that throws the dog off as he rubs up against you and the worries that he's got the wrong lady cause the right side was smooth last time makes him walk into fence posts. So I use 2 razors to avoid concussing an already rattled dog.

Not There

I'm not there.

I'm not at open house tonight.

I'm not welcoming new students and assuring their parents that I will dedicate my life for nine months to this child. I'm not stressing that I spelled every name correctly because that is so important to individuality. I'm not wishing that I had shaved all of my legs and not just to the knee to wear a nice skirt to meet the public. I'm not explaining why I chose to paint a wall-sized dragon on the wall. I'm not hoping that everyone understands about the supply fee. I'm not hoping that the cabinet door doesn't fail me and spill out everything that I didn't get done today as I prepared for open house. I'm not wondering if they didn't show up with their kids because they just don't care. I'm not giving out my cell and home phone number to complete strangers. I'm not reassuring any mom that what they heard is wrong and I don't give too much homework. I'm not exclaiming, "How much you have grown over the summer!". I'm not smiling and smiling and smiling. I'm not explaining why we don't have recess any more that is long enough to run from one end of the playground to the other. I'm not telling a grandmother not to worry that I will help her to love 3 kids that she didn't plan on raising. I'm not saying the tickets are for the kids and not a door prize. I'm not lamenting with the couple who asked why third graders don't get snacks. I'm not going over with a father the court documents that explain who can pick up this child. I'm not listening as mom says that little Johnny can't sit next to little Sammy or World War 3 will erupt. I'm not passing out packets of forms that are 10 inches thick. I'm not frantically trying to keep my cool as a wild little sister pours crayons out of boxes and eats 2 before anyone notices. I'm not popping with ideas that I forgot to tell Tara. I'm not lovingly opening a social studies book to show a child where the maps are in the back. I'm not agonizing that I can't serve 25 kids at one time. I'm not smiling when a child from way back passes the room and says, "HOW" and I say "scrambled". I'm not high on the possibilities of another year of teaching multiplication in the hall going to lunch. I'm not thinking of little songs and ditties to stick that science fact in that sweaty head forever. I'm not choked up when a child comes by and says, "you were my favorite teacher". I'm not listening to Amy tell me to watch out for deer on my drive home. I'm not hoping that at least 5 kids have computers at home. I'm not laughing as my parents tell me they are so glad that I have their child. I'm not wondering what they would all think if they saw the way I work on lesson plans. I'm not agreeing to go to the board after school and do math races with whichever child comes by. I'm not searching for a way to still fit board races into the day. I'm not exhilerated by the chance to see that this year is different for this child. I'm not enraged upon hearing that "we don't really expect much from him or her , cause they just ain't as smart as the older one" I'm not hugging and hugging, so glad to feel the power flowing through my veins. I'm not glancing one more time around and feeling a tiny zing as the anxiety of Monday and the first day jitters hits me. I'm not shaking my head over the fact that I used to teach monumental amounts of information and skills. I'm not thinking that I need to put pictures of my kids up on my computer to remind me of the important children that I gave birth to once. I'm not exclaiming when a friend brings by a sack of things they found this summer at yard sales and they thought of me and my plays. I'm not wondering what I forgot to do.

I'm not there.

I'm not alive right now. I'm not breathing. I'm not for sure how I will make it. I'm not giving up or in. I'm not going to tell you that I haven't lost the thing that I lived for. I'm not looking forward to the empty days of September. I'm not over it all yet.

I'm not there.

It's the first day in a long time that I've felt lonely. I'm out of projects. The garden is practically gone. Those 3 weeks of hot, dry took quite a toll on the green thumb projects.
I intend to get started on Sach's room conversion into a nursery-have decided on turquoise for the walls and accent with green and yellow. You'll have to trust me until you see the results as I have it all in my head.
it's raining now and we cut our evening walk short,
later

catch up

have been busy with the death of a friend's father. -
how do you describe the feeling of funeral homes. Why do we call them funeral "homes" interesting point to research-
used to be called funeral parlors-was it because people go and sit around the dead-

can't get my mind wrapped around the fact that school is starting and I'm at the finish line-
have memorized the route to Jacksonville and Mayo clinic but who are we kidding-I'm petrified to go back into that smell of testing, that "we are not sure" , we would like to try this. Medicine always involves the intake of chemicals, cause that is what those pill are, not sugar. I have already lost myself many times over since this all started, what if the MAYO clinic can't help, what if there is no big magic answer, what if bigger and better tests tell me that the signs and symptoms are indicating something far worse is going on. Do you really want to know if the coming days, months, and years might be more wrenching than one thought?
I so rarely even let myself go to darker places.....

Pure Fiction

If you were a former teacher, how would you make your life more exciting? What could you write about that would hold the reader until you deemed it time to look away?
It could be that you explained the inexplicable works of nature that seem to effect someone you know. That someone is me. Take today for instance. As I was out walking in the pasture on a curly cool morning, I made the executive decision to remove my shirt and just walk in my sports bra. Don't croak. My sport's bra covers as much as as sleeveless t-shirt-sport's bras for 48 year old boobs are designed like bullet proof vests. Nothing is getting in or out or through. I just don't want to be seen by many of the general public as I could be mobbed in the Madonna look-alike contest.
Trotting up the hill, I heard a growl behind me and turned to Rebel who should have been at my feet. He was hedged and hackled up into a copy of a stuffed museum piece, practicing menace when below our spot on the hill emerged a bear.
I've been dying to capture this bear. I don't mean put him in a box for show and tell. Just capture him on film so respect would rise up in the local yokels when I darkened the door. The bear was about 4 feet long and light brown. Not Arkansas black. Whirling around and beating it back to the house to get the camera that ususally hangs from my butt, I rushed back to the side of the hill where Rebel was still in stiff-legged lookout. The bear has slunk down back behind the bush and from my distance, I couldn't get a clear picture. I was going in. Grabbing a baseball bat, and yelling and swinging , I flew down the slope. Rebel was charging. He hit the bear in the back of the head, and they both started a growling roll down the hill. I was trying to squeeze of shots that would give me some proof when I slid down the hill toward the creek. Getting back up and squeezing marble-sized rocks from my belly roll fat deposits, I could not see either animal. I did see ,however, a Pepe Lepew grandfather skunk just 3 feet away. Now what the shit was I to do. If I moved I would be sprayed and end up like the rotten side of a dumpster. If I didn't move ,then Rebel was going to have my moment of infamy rushed into the next county. I took the better side of valor, and ran like hell up the hill away from the skunk. My bear is still out there, but so is his front man, Pepe. Another day, compadres!

I have been writing a lot in my spare time about nothing!

wondering why people read -what makes a book a best seller-how do you get put on the best table at Barnes and Noble

why do I rush out to get a book-do you want to write a book that masses of people read from different countries and cultures-I don't dwell in anguish so it won't be a book filled with angst. I am so disrespectful to the establishment so there will be some of that- so you wonder, readers must like suspense-look at King, Ludlum, Patterson, etc. -I've been to all of these workshops about writing. plotting too much seems contrived. I tell a good story and some of it must be instinct-know when to get to the punch line and know when to drop it-this line of thinking is going nowhere.

well, we'll see-went to fair last night and looked around.

the smell of the concession stand was divine-maybe those burgers will kill you, but you could go out less bitter and skinny

can you remember when you were a kid and trying the games of chance-It seemed to me that the carnies were living the life of Riley, -traveling the American way, staying up late, eating corndogs, winning stuffed animals.

Maggie ended up with 7 puppies-want one

Remiss

I have been so remiss in my blogging, but what the heck. Sometimes life is too good for journaling-here's a list
Friday-spent hours on the phone with old friends
Saturday-Jamie took me to the Haunted Hotel in Hardy
Sunday-had 12 people over to dinner
Monday-Judy took me flea marketing
Tuesday-Julia came over and helped me clean house
So now I'm absolutely a dead duck, tired titmouse, mangled mouse, clobbered cow, etc.

I want to express my thoughts but maybe tomorrow

oh, Maggie had 5 puppies, one died, so we are down to 4-right now, she is one hot momma

Hot

I spread myself out there today under the sprinkler. It's not bad if you have all the accessories, phone, ice water, magazines, books, maps.
Have led a very mundane existence the last 3 days as it is hot as hell. Don't know what to do -I guess tomorrow I'll go back to blogging for Sach and maybe do some family history blogs.
Eddy is working new hours because of the heat and the amount of work they have at the coop-7 to 3:30. He comes home drenched-his boots are soaking wet from sweat. I feel very bad bitching about having to stay in all day when people like him are depended upon to stay out all day.
several friends have sent me little surveys to do and I rarely get around to filling them out and sending them around to other friends and blogends.
I'll do it here as I have little energy to look it up

Favorite dog-what can I say to this. my dogs are mutts that came to our house because Sach is a sucker for lost and stray dogs and he married a lovely girl who is worse. Maggie is the great-granddaughter of the original Maggie who wandered up to Sach's trailer in Jonesboro during his undergrad. She ended up here. Rebel showed up at Sach's and ended up here.

Favorite sport-well, you know I'm not very mobile. does eating count as a sport

First thing you do in the morning-doesn't everybody pee first thing when they get up, the second thing would be wash hands, the third thing would be unglue contacts with a massive squirt of saline,

Okay, enough -this is why you never get these back if you are a friend who has sent these and read this. it's not because that I don't love you, it's just an attention thing

later